Talladega: The Tour De France of Not France


Trying to add a little travel talk in your life, when you think of the most epic sporting events in the world the Tour D’Franc will most definitely take the cake in a lot of peoples minds. The great finish on the Champs Elysees is one of the most amazing happenings and with some of the most extraordinary athletes in the world. However, if you were to compare this to any sporting event in America I could not think of anything more awesome than NASCAR at Talladega. This epic clash of motor-sport Albert Einsteins defies all rules and creates something so awesome only people with a lack of normal hygiene can truly love and enjoy. I am proud to say that I am one of those people that fits into this most prestigious category of Awesomeness.

The most recent race at Talladega, Aaron’s 499, definitely showcases the most amazing driver’s in the world of American motor-sports, while drawing in the most eclectic crowd of people who lives by the rules of MacGyver. This all weekend event is a perfect way to bring people who have like beliefs and idea, which are that America is the greatest place on Earth and Jeff Gordon is a bitch. There may be some who do not share those ideals, but they will be swiftly dealt with by a drunk old woman with 3 and a half teeth.

I do not mean to belittle or talk ill of the people that attend these gatherings because I attended this showing of American greatness. The people here were some of the nicest I have encountered in a long while. Everyone is very welcoming and has a smile on their face, except when you talk about socialism, soccer and anything that makes the red, white and blue looks uncool.

However outrageous the fans at these venues may be, you must commend the drivers skill to race a car around such a difficult track. These drivers are truly another breed of crazy that takes their racing machines to the ultimate limit. Talladega is one of the few tracks that requires the drivers’ to limit the speed of their vehicles for safety reasons. This 2 and three-quarter mile ring can get these cars up to a speed well around the 220 range if not for the restrictor plate that is mandatory for the race. This by no means make the race any less exciting when, especially when they come of turns bump drafting each other at about 190 miles and hour.

This was the first time I was able to go to one of these races. I can honestly say that I had the dumbest/drunkest grin on my face during the entire race because of the sheer power and amazing ability that was shown by the drivers of these vehicles. I have never been to something so grand in the middle of no-where. If any of you has the ability or wants to experience something a little different, most definitely check out a chance to go to Talladega, Alabama for a true experience of America and how people in the South get down. Do no go their for a girls weekend or a lame gathering of bros because you will easily be bitch-slapped back to reality by the middle-aged man throwing jello shots at you or the blaring country music that destroys anything hipster.

I  promise that a weekend in Talladega will be one of the most epic of your life, even if you have to get out on bond.

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